First,
let me apologize for the trite use of metaphors
you are about to encounter should you choose
to continue reading any further.
Steve McQueen could do it, Paul Newman could do it,
the Count of Monte Cristo survived
but actors playing characters and fictional characters
obviously do not suffer the way we do.
So for us living in a box is torture.
Until recently, I lived in a box
built inside a box
built inside another box
and so the fuck on and on.
Don't get me wrong. I built those fucking boxes,
stepped right into the motherfuckers willingly.
However, the material for those boxes
came from my parents, my genetics, my environment
and whatever else I don't fully understand.
I don't blame anyone for the boxes I built.
But we grow up being given building material
of lies
passed from one generation to the next.
We all do it except the rare few
and
I have not met them, have you?
At this point let me give you
a couple of symptoms of box living.
Do you use the word "me" and "why"
a lot in your thoughts or conversations?
Is your concentration and ability
to balance life, family and work difficult?
Are you depressed often or more?
Are you wishing you were somewhere else
instead of where you are at the time?
Do you feel guilt, shame or regret?
Do you go socially to places and do
activities you don't want to do?
Do you want people to do what
you do and think like you do?
Do you socialize with Trolls?
Do you have lottery fantasies?
Do you gossip?
Do you tell small lies and make excuses
to avoid?
Do you worry about what others will think of you?
Do you participate against your beliefs, wants
and/or needs?
Do you wish your life was different?
Do you want revenge?
Do you suffer from bouts of rage and resentment?
Do you want to blow your brains out?
If so,
you should immediately seek yourself and assess.
So after years of box living,
I became miserable, self centered and fearful.
Naturally like any animal after years of captivity
I began the long pacing circle
of
sex, drugs and alcohol all together in no
certain order.
Just
"more now! faster motherfucker!
The walls did not come down
until
I had destroyed myself.
Much like Pretty's guilt
and the
killing of a Goddess of the Universe
destruction can make opportunity for rebirth.
Transformation is possible if you survive
the destruction.
"I did. And I created an island on which I live.
The suffering, the effort, the struggle is worth the investment
when I find each day I am continually amazed."
John Donne said, "No man is an island."
Now of course he was speaking to the fact
that he was involved in mankind.
How? I am not sure.
This I do know, mankind is people living in boxes.
I am not sure how involved we really are as a species
with one another.
I put my personal freedom before all others.
It is my responsibility to society
to be an individual.
I do not stand alone
but separate
and yet with mankind.
I make my conscious choice
to follow or rebel.
Not out of fear or rage respectively.
I serve not as a machine but as
a living organism in the universe.
My island is not that
of isolation
or
of borders
but of
Directions for Me, Myself and I.
"I heard that. Who mumbled, (The Three Stooges?) Maybe so,
but you and all
are invited to my island,
but remember you are a guest and only visiting."
No Trolls will be allowed on shore.
So I offer this unsolicited suggestion,
step out of your box or boxes,
forget why or how
it was built
and write down the directions to your island.
Pretty Alice says her island is magical.
I hear she refitted E. C. Marm's air-boat.
She says it is loaded with jellybeans
and ready to soar.
So watch out you Tick-Tock Men and Women.
The Harlequin Rides Again!
For Abby and Bo.
Be strong, free and make your own
Conscious Choices
and
you each will have an Island of your own.
