I have just a few loose ends to tie up to secure my place in hell.

By Scoundrel Ghost

Jesus fried tacos. I miss the days when I could sit at a bar and not hear someone order a beer that didn't have 3 names like a serial killer. 

"I want a John Wayne Gacey and 2 Henry Lee Lucases". 

Citrus moon barely. WTF?

I don't want vegetables in my meat or fruit in my beer.

Here I sit old and in the way. Bothered by the changing times.
What's the point in looking back? 
Longing for what is gone or to redo a time in ones life?

Case in point, The worst thing that happened in my marriage was cell phones. But I had to have one. Of course I always wanted monogamy without the invasion of my privacy. Didn't foresee that complication.Being a person who liked ultimatums open ended and unconditional I guess it was a natural oversight in RETROSPECT!

So why spend time in hindsight or retrospect when I don't learn from it?

"Damn I ate before coming to the bar".  

What am I  to do, but move on and drink through it. 

Now you might  scoff at me, you perched high on your  lofty artsy pretentious village with your ridiculous over priced accommodations as the right wing  of a left loon  cries  out in its pain, a rebounding echo  throughout the  eclectic upper middle pretentious white class reserve of a neighborhood. 

Life is trial and error,

doing and having.

For me? 

I would rather be challenged than placated. Always.

Example: From childhood if you told me "no"  I did it because I was told "no" because I wanted to know "no".

I have always had a  powerful lure  to push a button, flip a switch, or pull a lever that I don't know what the result wil be. 

I must see what happens. No matter the cost, I close my eyes, tense up, turn my head and.......

in that I have learned  there is no good timing when you are an asshole

You Can Believe It But That Is Your Problem

By Scoundrel Ghost

Tonight I go into my silky womb a beautiful caterpillar to emerge tomorrow a dirty beige moth of no consequence. Ta fucking Da!!!   For that is really the way it is. Not everyone can be the president of the USA or an astronaut . Figure out what you can be and most importantly want to be. 

You know this whole idea, this complete lie that is sold to us by society that you are not beautiful until you conform to the struggle for wealth, the collection of items, greed lust and power and control  Then you are successful. It's manufactured consent. Work as a machine to serve the state  If you work hard enough  you will be successful.  People work hard everyday. They never end up financially successful. Hopefully that was not their intent, money and power but contentment. Individuality.

As of me the dirty beige moth, well I am of consequence. No more than any other moth but maybe a little more than a Monarch of Wall Street

The Wedding

By Scary Halloween

I'm a simple man. 

This is what I know to be true. We are all beautifully  damaged.  

Rich or poor. 

Impoverished or aristocratic. 

Formally educated or street smart. 

We are all damaged.  

Some are stronger some are weaker in the weight of our damage. 

The secret of this? it is a gift. 

Not to be burdened by our past or strangled in the fear of the unknown, but to exist in the in the moment of being alive, in the Shakespearean truth of above all else to thy own self be true. 

Approach with kindness, compassion, love and struggle of self awareness in the family, the town, the weight of humanity you find yourself given.  

Beyond the manufactured facade of our physical realm there is an aspect, a treasure deeply rooted in the universe that we see in our existence. 

The beauty of being human is in the purpose of our life in the now.

Lips Locked in A Lie

By Scary Halloween

I heard it said,
" I believe in the lie".
I believe we grow up being told lies.
Lies passed down from one generation to another.

They console us they haunt us
as we carry them on our backs.

All the while they are lies.

We lie to ourselves, lie to others.
So much we believe them,
hold to them, defend them them, die with them.


"If only."
"One more and I'm done."
"God will save me."
"When I have this."
"The truth will set me free."
"if I work hard enough I will succeed."
"I can be anything if I set my mind to it."
"Nirvana is just up ahead, then I can rest."
" It is as I believe."



Manufactured Consent is all it is.


Truth is only perception, perspective.
Truth is a lie in the minds eye.

So, we go own, our self preservation.
The lie we tell ourselves to cope with the truth.

The truth? We are frail and vulnerable.
We grasp and struggle to interrupt to understand,
wrangle reality to find some meaning.

Money, power, success and control.

These are false realities. Lies we tell ourselves.

But in the end, that is only answered within and for some too late to act accordingly.

Random Thoughts By All Three Of Us

Subtitles would be helpful

due to the subtleties required 

when negotiating the complexities of a southern woman.

I'm always impressed by people with a vision. 

More so those who give birth to vision, an expansion 
of humans in the experience of existence. 

(In reference to shooting of  Congresswoman Gabby Giffords)

I don't watch, listen or read the news. With the most recent shootings, all of this name calling and blaming is yet very familiar and just another reason I chose to ignore the news.  Wow! I'm so shocked that  Life is still cheap on planet Earth and that mentally ill people still exists in 2011. You know what else is cheap? People using the death of others for political positioning.  That includes profit news, bloggers, politicians and radical right wingers and far leftist liberals. 

Sometimes misery is required to overcome fear. 

Don't let misery be required to overcome fear.

Please don't read between my lines. You are embarrassing yourself.

The difficult decisions are the ones we should make. Being healthy has it's price. 

I like to call it Self Actualized thank you very much. It is as I believe. The benefit of a delusional mind. 

I have a powerful lure  to push a button, flip a switch, or pull a lever that I don't know what the result wil be. I must see what happens. No matter the cost. I close my eyes, tense up, turn my head and.......

This is how it works. You show me the money 

or I don't dance at your table 

nor do I show you my designer mullet sculpted glory patch. 

Taboo what?

Why is it when a politician speaks,

I hear the sound of 
an American Standard toilet flushing repeatedly?

I did try to go through AA but found it to be scam. There are dues, the doughnut thing is only on TV/Movies and there are no hot chicks. Just easy ones. Which would seem like a good thing if I were not sober. 

The DMV is my payback for all we have not paid. 

It's only a shame to be alone when it's your honeymoon or during a threesome. 

My favorite ultimatums are the ones that are open ended and unconditional. 

Jogging suit is denial. 

Pajamas and house coat is acceptance. 

I was 13 when I decided I would get some gunpowder. 

On an unrelated note: one of my new pet peeves which has come up twice recently - people who you are arguing with who say, "you're missing my point" like I'm some half wit. "no i'm not missing your point. I just think it's idiotic and I dont agree with it"

Here are some other replies, 

" as if I could"  

"I wish I was"

"maybe if you had one"

"I wouldn't if you were making one"

 " no I got your point dull as it is"

Always take advantage of a weakness especially if it is trust. 

So typical you take what's given and feel undeserving. You are a good machine. 

Strange Bedfellows Makes The World Go

Posted by Scary Halloween


I have a new friend.
I like her. She is intelligent,
soft spoken, well read, humorous
and passive.


I on the other hand, am aggressive.


In spiritual terms neither
is 
good
nor 
bad.


They are just approaches to life.
Just part of core personality.


We can utilize our energy in the negative or positive.
We can maximize the strength 
and minimize the weakness

of

our nature.

It is a choice.

A negative approach for a 

passive person and a aggressive person

can be summed up by this statement,

"The meek shall not inherit the earth because they will allow the angry to destroy it." 

She absorbs and I push.
(No sexual connotation implied here, so you should be embarrassed right now.)


She can sit quietly on her screened porch,
clear her mind in a meditative state,
communing with the breeze that claps the leaves of trees together.


Me, my brain is pulsating, vibrating, churning against my skull screaming.
It is against my nature to settle my thoughts. I can only
channel them,
certainly not control them.

A positive approach for a 

passive person and a aggressive person

can be summed up by this statement,

"The balance of calm and action will nurture the earth." 

Local Locust

Posted by Pretty Alice


The cicadas' chant
cheers on
a little boy eating
ice cream in the summer's sun.


With a silver spoon
he shapes 
castle cliff walls
to protect a young Prince.


As fate would have it
heat warms, actions wear in
the course of his world.


The fortress soon slides into a syrupy mote.


Quick to cease one moment of pleasure
he gobbles it down
only to receive
ice cold pain in his head.

The Closer To Death

Posted by Scary Halloween




the more free we can become.


Now some interpret free
as a license to go crazy.


Scoundrel Ghost has a
Terminal Illness List
Basically, should he have only a few months
to live, he will seek revenge
on those who he deems deserving
of his wrath. You know,
like the Enron guys.


Pretty Alice died and returned renewed, 
a spiritual consciousness vibrating on a quantum reality.




When I say closer to death,


I mean as one gets closer to old age.
As we get past that midway point
of our life expectancy, 
some of us
begin to reflect on how we have lived, 
are living
and ask the question(s):


"is this all there is?"
"how did I get here?"
"will I ever ?"
"how much time remains?"
"why didn't I ?".


Now there are those through
ignorance or self actualization
have no concern,
     that they need to scramble.


I personally have scrambled 
and altered what could have been my dismal fate.


It wasn't easy at first 
and required cognitive effort
of breaking 
habits of thought,
removing ingrained expectations,
changing self imposed  priorities,
and developing balance each day
of emotions, spirituality and physical and mental health..


My goal is on my death bed
or
at my time of conscious transition


that


I will not take inventory of  accumulation of material
but 
that of the spiritual tranquility.


That to thy own self through god


I was true.

Dear Pretty, Do We Have A Soul And What Happens To It When We Die??

Posted by Pretty Alice

I don't think it's important or necessary to know. 

We live in the moment. 

Past was but a dream and 

the future 

created in the present. 

God, religion spiritual beliefs and all it's dogma 

is only conjecture. 

If it is a soul that is in us and if our goal is to nurture it 

then that all takes place within us. 

It is an internal achievement without the focus being on our physical world. 

Now that might sound a little like bullshit or a lot of ignorance is bliss 

but it is but only a part of what I believe. 

When we try to conceive the unknown in our physical world 

and define it, 

describe it 

or label it, 

we are trying to prove it's existence. 

That is where faith comes in. 

Knowing/experiencing  a thing so deeply rooted and connected to our bodies 

that we feel it, 

draw strength 

and inspiration from it, 

yet we cannot provide any concrete evidence of the existence of a god, a soul or an afterlife.

I think trying to prove it 

or 

know it

is distracting a person from practicing their internal connection. 

It is a battle of philosophy vs method.


Basically, if you want to get heaven the entrance is in inside you. 
In your belief and practice of that faith.


So forget about evidence through scientific method or modern day miracles. 


Stop waiting for talking burning bushes. However, if you run across one get some good video.

Underneath It Remains Life After Birth

Posted By  Pretty Alice


As I was drifting, skating the edge of this universe's membrane,


the thought came to me.


We are born as the person we are. It is our core person.


Over time, that core is wrapped behind many 
lenses:


the layers and objects of identity and perception
that are removed and placed on us


from the exposure to life after birth.

But underneath, the core self remains., frozen, waiting.


Can the lenses, the fog be removed?


Can you return?


Can you peel off the familiar and all too comfortable
skin?


I was lucky, my guilt transformed me.


What will transform you?

The Ambassador Of Good Will

Posted by Scoundrel Ghost




If you work in the service industry
or
have ever worked dealing with the public,


face to face.


then you have probably felt or still feel 


that humanity 


is full of assholes.


We are not assholes all the time.


Some are more than others;


few are assholes 24/7. They do  have to sleep. 


Sometimes we are intentional assholes,


sometimes unintentional.


Now I have worked with people who stop by 
to donate their treasures for which they
no longer have room to contain.


Maybe 
they just need to make more room 
for newer crap.


Mine is not to question.


Some of it can be useful to others; clothes, utensils, cookware, etc.


But most of it is crap. Crap that collects dust, crap to dust around
and crap to sit next to crap, crap to accessorize other crap, 
crap that was given, crap that was received  
and crap that just had to be had due to the 
manufactured consent 
of the marketeers.


We ARE a nation of crap mongers. 


Our whole economy is based on
producing, marketing and buying crap. 


Its one big crap swap.




I think I have strayed from my point if I did actually have one when I started.


Oh yes. Assholes.


Now this new job is a very good experience for me.


It gives me a chance to work on many areas of my life that require humility
and to let go. To stop being a control freak.


I have such difficulty dealing with the 
rudeness, the arrogance and the plain stupidity of others.


So as I practice, I serve the public 
as the arbiter of the unwanted back to the wanted.


One man's crap is another man's crap. That's not how it goes but that's how it is. 


Im a minimalist. This was not always the case.


It's ironic or devine intervention that a minimalist 
would end up working everyday in the recycling of junk to treasure business.


I'm grateful that it reminds me of my choice to reduce the weight of objects in my life.


I'm grateful that I can practice humility when:


a donor has to hold their piece of crap so gingerly in their hands and tell me how valuable and useful this piece of crap is to someone else.


(i'm thinking if its so great why dont they just keep it or hey if they are giving it away then just let go. Just shut the fuck up and let me toss into a bin full of more crap just like it. There is a line of assholes right behind you mister and the crap is piling up. So let me be on my way as  should you.)


Or,


A donor tells me how the pieces fit together and how they cant be separated.
( I'm thinking, do you not see these bins piled full of junk, do you not see how everything is just dumped in these bins, do you think that this plastic piece of junk is so great that I should ignore the line of cars piling up, one by one, just so I can secure your child's filthy, sticky  soon to be former toy in a special place so that when it is shipped to the store to be resold it will arrive with a fanfare? 
Ta fucking Dah!)


Or, 


A donor says maybe you should......
( Now when they start their sentence like that they are really being an asshole. That is always a sentence that comes from a woman, stating the obvious or with a suggestion of how to take care of those shoes, that lamp or the box in her car. Its hot, I'm tired, sweaty and hungry and I really don't need someone telling me how to do something that would be totally against what I was trained and am required to do in this job. That's not how its done. Let it go. You donated it. It's not yours to cherish, polish, dust, hold, view, wear, worship or whatever anymore.)


Or, 


a donnor drives up talking on the phone and just sits there. I come up to the window, they dont roll it down, but they stick up a finger to say in such a kind gesture, "One moment please, can't you see I'm on the phone." Oh what an asshole. We have to stand around and wait until she is done. Yes let's just fall behind in our work so she can finish buying more crap or whatever she is doing on her cell phone.


There are plenty more ors where I am coming from.


And truly,  I am no different from anyone else.


I am guilty of ignorance or over helpfulness or rudeness to my fellow earthlings.


And I understand that most of the time our being an asshole is due to the fact
that we are so bogged down surviving the struggle of the
American Dream, succumbing to our fears and insecurities
that we forget to relax, to be focused and to care for others.


I get that.


So each day I get a chance to see what others feel like


when I AM being



an asshole.

The Fractal Universe

Posted by Pretty Alice

I like that anyone who as smoked weed
has thought of the concept
that there is a whole universe
on such a microscopic scale
that it is invisible to our eyes.

That makes me smile.

Possibly the birth of Dr. Seuss's,

"Horton Hears A who".

That makes me smile.

When one thinks of repeating cycles

in our own bodies,

of  nature on Earth,

our galaxy,

our universe,

is it so improbable

that from the infinitesimal to the infinite

that we lie somewhere in between?

That really makes me smile.

Whatever Happened To Natural Selection?

Posted by Scoundrel Ghost

Going through life not knowing what you are doing can be troublesome.

Of course,

sometimes you just get lucky.

Quantum Leap of Thought

By Scary Halloween

In my youth I use to subscribe to the idea

Dont Know, Dont Care.

Not to be confused with the concept that ignorance is bliss.

Meaning the idea that what you don't know won't hurt you or
what you are unaware of you will not miss.

So if you don't know how to do your taxes it won't hurt you as long as there are
accountants and you can afford their services, unless you don't need to do your
taxes or refuse to do so. Of course refusing to do so will hurt you
unless you like prison or life evading the law.

Fire on the other hand is hot and without that knowledge you will get burned
unless you never encounter fire.

Or, if you have never eaten at 5 star restaurant, visited a tropical island
you will not miss.

Don't Know, Don't Care is really about lazy indifference.

Know, Don't Care is more about indifference.

Don't Know, Care is about uninformed opinion.

What I do know is that

life consists of predictability of events, 

non predictability of events, 

predictability of random events

and 

non predictability of random events.

So with that, I now subscribe to

Choose To Know What I Can Know, Choose To Care or Care Not

Food For Thought

By Scoundrel Ghost

I'm trying to save the world one or two cheese burgers at a time.
However,  I must keep in mind, Rome didn't fall in a day.

Illusion Confusion Delusion Solution

BY Scary Halloween






It is late.
I stand in the suburbs amongst
the sleeping in their houses, the big yards,
elaborate swingsets and screened porches.


I am an alien here.


A song by Bob Dylan runs through my head,

There must be some kind of way out of here,”
Said the joker to the thief.

“There’s too much confusion,
I can’t get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine,
Plowmen dig my earth.
None of them along the line
Know what any of it is worth.”

“No reason to get excited,”
The thief he kindly spoke.
“There are many here among us
Who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we’ve been through that,
And this is not our fate.
So let us not talk falsely now,
The hour is getting late.”

I refuse to lie to myself, to you and others. 


For me it is not how to get out or how to get in.
I can't know what I know, even if I look the part,
I can't stomach it. I must remain.


There is no place for me but on my island. What have I
ever known except what I know now?


No mystery to the meaning of life. Love and be loved.
That is all anything is worth.


Everything else is an illusion. All of man and God's creation
is meaningless, empty and hollow without selfless love.


How much can one change if they even realize they need to?
Eventually you top out or bottom out. You go as far as
any individual can go. And then you are finished. You are done. All that remains
is memory in someone's head.

This thought came to me over dinner and conversation
with a man that I cannot even begin to compare.


Honest, kind, loving, tireless, strong.


Because of him and others I would have slipped away due to
mere indifference or out of pure boredom.
But their love for me has given me the gift of being able to love.

In The Swirling Cosmos

By Scary Halloween

Precision and Chaos

Yin and Yang

Healthy and Unhealthy

Hot and Cold

Evil and Good

Life and Death

Truth and Deceit

Is and Is Not

however you want to name it,

identify it,

exist as one thing

each is its fuel and exhaust.

My actions, my thoughts, my words,

even my posture and facial expressions

as mush as I don't want it

to be so, as much as I don't want

to be burdened by this,

possesses the power of both,

the power of dichotomy.

As we live we are dying

as I accept you I deny another/myself

as I deny you I accept another/myself.

It is the decisions we don't want

to make

that are the decisions

to make.

Yet, actions without decisions

although with potential for volatility

can be a solution. Volatility in of itself

can be a solution. But what remains?

And as I burn and exhaust

feed and eliminate my actions

this spiral of energy spreads out

swirling, combining and spiraling again

and against and within

all other living things.

There is no one path out

and no one path in.

Knowing this,

staying connected to this

listening, seeing, touching, hearing, smelling,

sensing this is

balance of human life.

Conscious of existence

choosing, deciding, accepting

is crucial everyday

every minute of that day.

Interaction and change is inevitable

but not always expected or understood

but that is where always the

struggle for balance performs.

Sharon. Thanks for the title change. 

The bomb the flood and the boy.

By Pretty Alice

It goes off in the chest no relief still

remaining. It is the feel of grip around

his heart. he stumbles

and trips from the start.

They will tell him the truth.

we have tried all of us. Here inside.

"you must return to the booth."

"you again must hide."

From the carnival barker

(with the quips from the words, the blades using

the power of the past to destroys lives)

so from outside he enters

with the barker's nod.

Protected. In the retro golden booth.

You know to face the velvet curtains because you

are odd.

So odd.

Why so odd? Why do

what you have done time and again?

He goes from his bed.

then his chair.

then to the place he fuels his head.

It is the mind the place from within.

He hears,

"Such a repetitive boy tinkering around with a dangerous toy."

Rushing, rolling, rising and exploding the voice speaks to him.

I will drown them all they will choke

and gasp to breathe no more.

so then I can open, so that I may be free

once more

outside the golden door.

I'm Glad Christ Wasn't Treated Fairly

By Scary Halloween

I was speaking to a dear friend today. Her daughter attended

the elementary school's annual Easter Egg Hunt.

Sadly each child was to hunt for only 14 eggs. Once they found 14 they were

instructed to stop so that each student would have 14 eggs.

This is so unfair. Now I don't usually subscribe to fair and unfair.

Life is for each person what it is. Some are

stronger, faster, smarter, and better looking than others.

It is the circumstance of genetics.

As humans we are responsible to develop or waste what we are given.

However, when our society starts attempting to make everything equal and fair,

then it is unfair to go against the natural order of birth and the individual.

It robs from our birth right the journey to discover our individual gifts,

our strengths and our weaknesses and place in this world.

Can you imagine what it was like for the students that have a better

visual acuity, are faster and more clever with the the context clues as

to the whereabouts of hidden eggs,

to wait around for the other kids to find their fourteen eggs?

How exciting it must of been for the more competitive children to

hurry up get their 14 eggs and then do nothing.

It must of been so great for the kids less skilled to be the last

still searching for the less obviously hidden eggs.

Why didn't the school just hand out the eggs?

It would not have been any more futile.

"Here kid, takes theses eggs and go home."

Kurt Vonnegut published his short story

"Harrison Bergeron", in 1961.

48 years later this tale of a society is coming true.

Soon we will live in Vonnegut's absurd world

where the strong are artificially weakened by sandbags to

exhibit equal strength to all,

the attractive are prosthetically altered to look plain like everyone,

and the intelligent hear a horrible noise every few minutes to disrupt

their thoughts so that they have the same IQ as everyone.

We wonder why is society slipping. How did entitlement

lead to this? Everyone gets the same? No suffering? No challenge?

No choice to work or quit to succeed or fail?

Giving people something for nothing

couldn't possibly take away their motivation and most importantly

their dignity.

If you think that socialism works you are a person

who lives in fear or anger, afraid and angry, going about life

wanting and jealous of those who have what you wouldn't earn.

Or

You "pity" those who don't have what you have

or you chose socialist beliefs due to guilt for having

more than others.

Regardless, I don't want any help.

Just love, encouragement and healthy guidance.

Let me find my way to natural ability,

earned self improvement. It is most human of us

to struggle and develop with independence

regardless of success or failure.