Julie Falls

By Pretty Alice

Beautiful how water falls, but heart wrenching
when she falls
It is in my nature to be her net
torn, ripped by the velocity of her
inconsolable unavoidable inevitable plummet.

I envision that she could fall so deep that through the Earth she would rise  on the other side.  On top like a beatiful weed flower, strong, determined
that pushes up through the layers of rock, and dirt
encased in  black asphalt.

There is no tangible to why I am connected to a particular thing about her.

Maybe it is her relentless self torture, pain
that I want to heal.
Foolish me to love my mother I feel in her.
Vulnerable always pulls me in, then clinches me in my illusion
an inescapable vice.

If I have a problem
it is empathy
 as I look to her from where I am now and although I cannot live in her world
 it ensures
 I am not a fool
except for Julie
when she falls
because I fall too.

But I hold on from my own need,
a voice pursues in the back of my minds' eye
that every eventual encounter
will still be tarnished by the feelings of Julie
when she is falling.

A Moment Of Clarity

By Scary Halloween

I met a man on the streets of Chicago. 

This is what he said:

I never planned on being a drunkard.

It's not like when I was 5 and someone asked me what I want to be when I grow up that Ianswered "a drunkard".

I probably said nothing, shrugged in indifference and walked away. 

Even then I would not placate myself or waste my time to placate others. Sure now I know how to diffuse, distract and tell someone what they want to hear to get them off my back. I'm quite the diplomat. A skilled avoider. A magician of masquerade.

But truly a person knows them self, when they are in their element. When clarity engulfs them like a professional athlete surpassing the opponent , an accountant trimming the waste, a lawyer fighting a case or a actor perfecting a portrayal.

But we gravitate to our nature, what we were meant to be regardless of our potential for other endeavors. 

We find our way. I don't cry for Lindsey Lohan. She was side tracked. Still fighting her nature she should embrace the person that doesn't want to act but be the person that wants to live. 

I'm not making an excuse. Don't think I am giving up, I am choosing not to be anything of society but a man with his thoughts, beliefs and actions marinated in the numbing foggy veil of alcohol.

And with that to thine oneself be true I can rest gently nestled in acceptance without regret, remorse or self doubt of what could have been, what should have been but rather what is.  

International Day Of Peace 2012

By Scoundrel Ghost

I could use a  piece of some international today. 

Problem with peace, people just can't give it a chance at the same time. 

Now me, I don't have a problem hating. 

It has been said what one hates in others is a reflection of what one does not like about his or her self. Maybe that is true sometimes, 

but not all the time.

Sometimes people are assholes and it is good to hate them. 

Well for me it is. 

I like a good  heathy heaping attitude of a  resentful  loathing  of hatred.
 Please keep in mind I realize I am the perfect model of who to hate. 

I am an asshole! I spend my time complaining about what I  interpret

to be  the worst of all things on Earth , including myself .

I'm not one of those  who sees myself as better than everyone else.
As a matter of fact it is my indifference and disgust about my life
and all life that keeps me anchored, marred in objective
disappointment. 

It makes me happy
to be so unhappy.
 And in that I love life's irony.

It is like a wise person wrote,

To truly hate others
you must first learn to hate yourself.

PEACE OUT!

Young Men Beware The Peach

By Pretty Alice

For we make our beds that are eventually  the couches we sleep on.

You think to yourself, "I would drink the nectar from her tulip, be quenched in a mesmerized  desire. "

And after? When she loves and the peach has turned to rot?

Lust is about compromise. What you covet today will not be so down the road. 

The end justifies the means but intentions are the begginning.

I'm not destroying myself I'm on hiatus from finding myself

By Scary Halloween

People can only do so much soul searching or paper work before they go simple. 

Occasionally it is necessary to push away from the routine, go off the deep end to remind themselves how and why they started searching. 

A risky necessary action to repetitive perpetual madness of  routine. Interesting the the shallow and deep end eventually produce boredom. 

It's like running back and forth on a seesaw. Not like it is. A seesaw of extremes of sanity to insanity.  One side is the pinch to know we are alive the other side is a pinch to recognize we are still alive. 

In the end, for me, I'm tired of pinching myself. 

We all do wrong things for the right reasons, right?

By Scoundrel Ghost

I had  large bag of Doritos and an umbrella to my name as this vehicle  not of my captianage  is twisting to a 180,
 the wet street is glimmering
the lights of reflection of my life of misadventure
a swirling around in a ring of pinpoint laser perception.

Whipped to an abrupt stop. Alive.

The coast is clear.

Once again unto and through the breach 

Never mind. I survived.

A 360 in my book once we righted our vector.

No harm no foul. 

Set course forward, warp speed.

Fries before whores

By Pretty Alice

That title by Scoundrel Ghost, crude as it is, I concur.

I once lived in the physical plane.  I too knew the need the desire for sustenance and nurturing from outside. 

It is part of the human experience. But to what end, to what means?

To fill the hole from outside or from within? 

Food, shelter, love are the basic requirements.

Those requirements 

can 

free us

Or

bind us.

Intention is everything.

Fries nor whores will  fill 

the bottomless pit of despair 

That hole in you, filled from

within

can be a mountain 

a monolith 

a precipice 

to a whole new you.

That blimp is a horrid thing.

By Scoundrel Ghost

Sure the Hindenburg was a tragic event.  However.

The loud domineering obnoxious she blimp I saw hovering over this Jack Sprat barking out orders should burn and crash to the ground .  In a desolated area far from life and earthquake prone Earth. 

Seriously. There comes a point when I must judge because there hasn't been a point when someone hasn't killed themselves. It is a mistake on my part to  expect that some spoiled  cellulose bloated  self important narcissistic swollen whale would either shut the fuck up or remove herself from existence. 

Foolish me. Now I'm no adonis by any means. But I speak when spoken to and I know who I am and my place in the world.

And what happened in Jack Sprat's life that he would be her moon.  Is he trapped in some gravitational orbit of self loathing or financial dependency? Who could know.  Maybe it is true love. Maybe he is Jesus fucking Christ. I guess we all have our crosses to bare. 

Religion will make you horny and rebellious. Thank God.

By Scary Halloween

Scoundrel Ghost went to church camp. Came back a  horny girl chasing Tasmanian devil , free of pent adolescent frustrations and with a honed distaste for rules. I on the other hand never new organized religion. That being said,

Occasionally a friend will tell me they feel ashamed or guilty. I ask them what advice would they give to a loved one if they were feeling the same? 

Why is it we can give kindness to others but not ourselves?

I think it is because we follow someone else's code of morals of right or wrong rather than our own. I prefer to view our actions as healthy or unhealthy. I don't believe in sin but I do believe in forgiveness of self and others. 

Beelzebub in the gastropub

By Scoundrel Ghost

I am from the adrunkee tribe. They call me one who drinks with two livers. 

I know that is not politically correct.
That is why I wrote it.
I'm not political. I think that is an offensive term.

I'm so insulted.

My parents didn't fuck so that I have to be someone's
bitch.

If I can't express my thoughts without offending
you I am so not sorry.

You can say whatever you want to me. I really don't care.

That is the thing. I don't care and I can't imagine why you would.

It probably comes down to your self importance.
If I thought for one second that I have some significance over
you i would smash you like the troll you are.

I would rather you take you take your overly sensitive
soap box tie a rope around your neck, secure the other end to a immovable object
and kick that bullshit of a pulpit
Out
From under your feet. 

Have a nice day. 

Whether you agree or disagree, it doesn't matter to me.

By Pretty Alice

I learned that the language of love is.
And
The language of argument isn't.

You can believe or disbelieve.
It is not for me to convince you, only to listen
and share and listen.

After my transformation love is all there is
for me
and the experience of the celestial plane.

I died. I returned transformed.
The only argument I had was with myself.
The only solution was to let go.

So if we ever meet, I hope you will
approach with kindness. But,
if you can't it doesn't t matter to me if don't.

That is your journey.

I have just a few loose ends to tie up to secure my place in hell.

By Scoundrel Ghost

Jesus fried tacos. I miss the days when I could sit at a bar and not hear someone order a beer that didn't have 3 names like a serial killer. 

"I want a John Wayne Gacey and 2 Henry Lee Lucases". 

Citrus moon barely. WTF?

I don't want vegetables in my meat or fruit in my beer.

Here I sit old and in the way. Bothered by the changing times.
What's the point in looking back? 
Longing for what is gone or to redo a time in ones life?

Case in point, The worst thing that happened in my marriage was cell phones. But I had to have one. Of course I always wanted monogamy without the invasion of my privacy. Didn't foresee that complication.Being a person who liked ultimatums open ended and unconditional I guess it was a natural oversight in RETROSPECT!

So why spend time in hindsight or retrospect when I don't learn from it?

"Damn I ate before coming to the bar".  

What am I  to do, but move on and drink through it. 

Now you might  scoff at me, you perched high on your  lofty artsy pretentious village with your ridiculous over priced accommodations as the right wing  of a left loon  cries  out in its pain, a rebounding echo  throughout the  eclectic upper middle pretentious white class reserve of a neighborhood. 

Life is trial and error,

doing and having.

For me? 

I would rather be challenged than placated. Always.

Example: From childhood if you told me "no"  I did it because I was told "no" because I wanted to know "no".

I have always had a  powerful lure  to push a button, flip a switch, or pull a lever that I don't know what the result wil be. 

I must see what happens. No matter the cost, I close my eyes, tense up, turn my head and.......

in that I have learned  there is no good timing when you are an asshole

You Can Believe It But That Is Your Problem

By Scoundrel Ghost

Tonight I go into my silky womb a beautiful caterpillar to emerge tomorrow a dirty beige moth of no consequence. Ta fucking Da!!!   For that is really the way it is. Not everyone can be the president of the USA or an astronaut . Figure out what you can be and most importantly want to be. 

You know this whole idea, this complete lie that is sold to us by society that you are not beautiful until you conform to the struggle for wealth, the collection of items, greed lust and power and control  Then you are successful. It's manufactured consent. Work as a machine to serve the state  If you work hard enough  you will be successful.  People work hard everyday. They never end up financially successful. Hopefully that was not their intent, money and power but contentment. Individuality.

As of me the dirty beige moth, well I am of consequence. No more than any other moth but maybe a little more than a Monarch of Wall Street

The Wedding

By Scary Halloween

I'm a simple man. 

This is what I know to be true. We are all beautifully  damaged.  

Rich or poor. 

Impoverished or aristocratic. 

Formally educated or street smart. 

We are all damaged.  

Some are stronger some are weaker in the weight of our damage. 

The secret of this? it is a gift. 

Not to be burdened by our past or strangled in the fear of the unknown, but to exist in the in the moment of being alive, in the Shakespearean truth of above all else to thy own self be true. 

Approach with kindness, compassion, love and struggle of self awareness in the family, the town, the weight of humanity you find yourself given.  

Beyond the manufactured facade of our physical realm there is an aspect, a treasure deeply rooted in the universe that we see in our existence. 

The beauty of being human is in the purpose of our life in the now.

Lips Locked in A Lie

By Scary Halloween

I heard it said,
" I believe in the lie".
I believe we grow up being told lies.
Lies passed down from one generation to another.

They console us they haunt us
as we carry them on our backs.

All the while they are lies.

We lie to ourselves, lie to others.
So much we believe them,
hold to them, defend them them, die with them.


"If only."
"One more and I'm done."
"God will save me."
"When I have this."
"The truth will set me free."
"if I work hard enough I will succeed."
"I can be anything if I set my mind to it."
"Nirvana is just up ahead, then I can rest."
" It is as I believe."



Manufactured Consent is all it is.


Truth is only perception, perspective.
Truth is a lie in the minds eye.

So, we go own, our self preservation.
The lie we tell ourselves to cope with the truth.

The truth? We are frail and vulnerable.
We grasp and struggle to interrupt to understand,
wrangle reality to find some meaning.

Money, power, success and control.

These are false realities. Lies we tell ourselves.

But in the end, that is only answered within and for some too late to act accordingly.

Random Thoughts By All Three Of Us

Subtitles would be helpful

due to the subtleties required 

when negotiating the complexities of a southern woman.

I'm always impressed by people with a vision. 

More so those who give birth to vision, an expansion 
of humans in the experience of existence. 

(In reference to shooting of  Congresswoman Gabby Giffords)

I don't watch, listen or read the news. With the most recent shootings, all of this name calling and blaming is yet very familiar and just another reason I chose to ignore the news.  Wow! I'm so shocked that  Life is still cheap on planet Earth and that mentally ill people still exists in 2011. You know what else is cheap? People using the death of others for political positioning.  That includes profit news, bloggers, politicians and radical right wingers and far leftist liberals. 

Sometimes misery is required to overcome fear. 

Don't let misery be required to overcome fear.

Please don't read between my lines. You are embarrassing yourself.

The difficult decisions are the ones we should make. Being healthy has it's price. 

I like to call it Self Actualized thank you very much. It is as I believe. The benefit of a delusional mind. 

I have a powerful lure  to push a button, flip a switch, or pull a lever that I don't know what the result wil be. I must see what happens. No matter the cost. I close my eyes, tense up, turn my head and.......

This is how it works. You show me the money 

or I don't dance at your table 

nor do I show you my designer mullet sculpted glory patch. 

Taboo what?

Why is it when a politician speaks,

I hear the sound of 
an American Standard toilet flushing repeatedly?

I did try to go through AA but found it to be scam. There are dues, the doughnut thing is only on TV/Movies and there are no hot chicks. Just easy ones. Which would seem like a good thing if I were not sober. 

The DMV is my payback for all we have not paid. 

It's only a shame to be alone when it's your honeymoon or during a threesome. 

My favorite ultimatums are the ones that are open ended and unconditional. 

Jogging suit is denial. 

Pajamas and house coat is acceptance. 

I was 13 when I decided I would get some gunpowder. 

On an unrelated note: one of my new pet peeves which has come up twice recently - people who you are arguing with who say, "you're missing my point" like I'm some half wit. "no i'm not missing your point. I just think it's idiotic and I dont agree with it"

Here are some other replies, 

" as if I could"  

"I wish I was"

"maybe if you had one"

"I wouldn't if you were making one"

 " no I got your point dull as it is"

Always take advantage of a weakness especially if it is trust. 

So typical you take what's given and feel undeserving. You are a good machine. 

Strange Bedfellows Makes The World Go

Posted by Scary Halloween


I have a new friend.
I like her. She is intelligent,
soft spoken, well read, humorous
and passive.


I on the other hand, am aggressive.


In spiritual terms neither
is 
good
nor 
bad.


They are just approaches to life.
Just part of core personality.


We can utilize our energy in the negative or positive.
We can maximize the strength 
and minimize the weakness

of

our nature.

It is a choice.

A negative approach for a 

passive person and a aggressive person

can be summed up by this statement,

"The meek shall not inherit the earth because they will allow the angry to destroy it." 

She absorbs and I push.
(No sexual connotation implied here, so you should be embarrassed right now.)


She can sit quietly on her screened porch,
clear her mind in a meditative state,
communing with the breeze that claps the leaves of trees together.


Me, my brain is pulsating, vibrating, churning against my skull screaming.
It is against my nature to settle my thoughts. I can only
channel them,
certainly not control them.

A positive approach for a 

passive person and a aggressive person

can be summed up by this statement,

"The balance of calm and action will nurture the earth." 

Local Locust

Posted by Pretty Alice


The cicadas' chant
cheers on
a little boy eating
ice cream in the summer's sun.


With a silver spoon
he shapes 
castle cliff walls
to protect a young Prince.


As fate would have it
heat warms, actions wear in
the course of his world.


The fortress soon slides into a syrupy mote.


Quick to cease one moment of pleasure
he gobbles it down
only to receive
ice cold pain in his head.

The Closer To Death

Posted by Scary Halloween




the more free we can become.


Now some interpret free
as a license to go crazy.


Scoundrel Ghost has a
Terminal Illness List
Basically, should he have only a few months
to live, he will seek revenge
on those who he deems deserving
of his wrath. You know,
like the Enron guys.


Pretty Alice died and returned renewed, 
a spiritual consciousness vibrating on a quantum reality.




When I say closer to death,


I mean as one gets closer to old age.
As we get past that midway point
of our life expectancy, 
some of us
begin to reflect on how we have lived, 
are living
and ask the question(s):


"is this all there is?"
"how did I get here?"
"will I ever ?"
"how much time remains?"
"why didn't I ?".


Now there are those through
ignorance or self actualization
have no concern,
     that they need to scramble.


I personally have scrambled 
and altered what could have been my dismal fate.


It wasn't easy at first 
and required cognitive effort
of breaking 
habits of thought,
removing ingrained expectations,
changing self imposed  priorities,
and developing balance each day
of emotions, spirituality and physical and mental health..


My goal is on my death bed
or
at my time of conscious transition


that


I will not take inventory of  accumulation of material
but 
that of the spiritual tranquility.


That to thy own self through god


I was true.

Dear Pretty, Do We Have A Soul And What Happens To It When We Die??

Posted by Pretty Alice

I don't think it's important or necessary to know. 

We live in the moment. 

Past was but a dream and 

the future 

created in the present. 

God, religion spiritual beliefs and all it's dogma 

is only conjecture. 

If it is a soul that is in us and if our goal is to nurture it 

then that all takes place within us. 

It is an internal achievement without the focus being on our physical world. 

Now that might sound a little like bullshit or a lot of ignorance is bliss 

but it is but only a part of what I believe. 

When we try to conceive the unknown in our physical world 

and define it, 

describe it 

or label it, 

we are trying to prove it's existence. 

That is where faith comes in. 

Knowing/experiencing  a thing so deeply rooted and connected to our bodies 

that we feel it, 

draw strength 

and inspiration from it, 

yet we cannot provide any concrete evidence of the existence of a god, a soul or an afterlife.

I think trying to prove it 

or 

know it

is distracting a person from practicing their internal connection. 

It is a battle of philosophy vs method.


Basically, if you want to get heaven the entrance is in inside you. 
In your belief and practice of that faith.


So forget about evidence through scientific method or modern day miracles. 


Stop waiting for talking burning bushes. However, if you run across one get some good video.