Stopping Quitting Smoking

So there I was smoking and drinking with my friends in my usual fashion holding a beer in my left hand and a cigarette in my right, hunched over, elbows on the bar protecting them like I’ve done time in prison or I’m in the fast lane to self destruction,

“Move over Grim Reaper, I got this one”,

Understand, this is where I am at home at peace, all is right in the world, my heart is in it. On this not so particular night someone made mention that a friend was back to her regular drinking. She stated,

“I felt like drying out, now I’m done with that.”

Exactly I thought.

“Good for you”

I said.

“You know I am sick of society cramming exercising, proper diet and not smoking down my throat!”

And for what I ask you? Fine if they have the time, money and motivation to “take better care” of themselves. More power to them. So they will be those healthy RVing seniors galloping the entire world in their retirement. Burdening health care and sucking social security dry.

Well not me. I will gladly give my life to lesson our country’s social security debacle. I refuse to take care of myself so I can take money from an antiquated system that shouldn't exist. I would much rather have that money to do with as I please. Save it, invest it or drink it and smoke it away!

Avoiding things that you love for whatever the reason, is torture and a waist of time on Al’s planet. I like to subscribe to the philosophy of,

“What if a bus hits and kills me tomorrow or I’m carried off by a twister. What then I ask you?

Why should I spend the rest of my life running on a treadmill?

All the while, still tortured by the itching, nawing of severed nicotine and beer that societal pressure made me cut off when there is high probability I might die tomorrow.

I know life is full of other activities that don’t involve drinking and smoking. Is it not cruel to ask me after years of Pavlovian conditioning to try to change what is so certainly ingrained into my personality? I am positive there is a family smoking, drinking genetic code in my DNA. Unless one of you out there sends me off to some reconditioning camp while paying all my bills for a year, I will be what I am to the day I die. Maybe a little sooner than it has to be, but who can say what fate as in store for us. So, I choose immediate gratification as I always do!

Today! I’m stopping quitting smoking. I’ve tried many times and failed. I don’t have the will power and I obviously don’t want to quit. Also, I’m stopping feeling guilty about being a smoker. Fuck off! You health Nazis, pushing your opinionated agenda in my dry, pale wrinkled smokey face!