.
It's a self loathing thing. A rage against life. A way to know I am alive. Some jump from planes, others climb mountains and so forth. I delve into the darkness of society to test boundaries, to face death before my time.
I gain empowerment when I walk the no white man's streets. Argue the price, pull out a wad of cash daring then to take it from me.
They no better than to fight a man with a death wish. Fearless is feared.
Block after block a target. My invisibility my posture leads my path safely home.
I gain strength to walk in the valley of death and know that to fear evil is to fear me. It's like flying. It is weightlessness. Freeing.
But it doesn't hold. Last. Secure. To be validated as alive requirement involves repetition of the immediate embrace of death.
