Coming Real Getting Low

By Cary Hall

I have made selfish choices in my life. At the time I did not know they were out of fear or anger. It was difficult to avoid the pain of saying "no" to what I immediately wanted. I can now but I can't scoop the ripples back of my actions. I can only imagine what it is  to have observed me to reflect on me as I was. I know what I have done, what I must live with, but never fully know what they must.

It is done. 

But we are not. Forever tidaled in my wake. 

Extrovert passive or aggressive? Introvert passive or aggressive?

By Cary Hall

Neither combination good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. 

It is what we do  with that, with ourselves that is. 

Me? I'm an aggressive introvert.  Knowing this, accepting this is key.

I think an aggressive extrovert or a passive introvert would have less dichotomy. More in sync. 

Less questioning.

But those have their challenges and pitfalls as well. 

Our life is a short long journey. Much easier when you know you know yourself,  your path and can be true to it. 

Go Take What I Make Mine

By Cary Hall

It is my self conscious, my deep rooted kindness, empathy and vigilant self awareness that  prevents. 

I deny my potentials playing the fence.  I don't want to be that person. 

My spirit locked in turmoil against my nature. 

I know it is the dichotomy of the universe. I applaud myself for my recognition and I hate myself for the life long struggle. 

Either way peace would come if one would win. 

The outcome is my soul. To toss away or preserve. 

Cherish or exploit.

This is solely about me of me for me. Not what others think, but what I can live with. 

To what end, to what means is a question that plagues me, it tasks me. 

A burden of choice, of organic wiring, of environment or of God that  I bare.

Just

me, myself, I

and

God. 

We Three Are Here

By Pretty Alice

It is about time. 

Such a sweet man. 

I love him. 

Scary wants to be him. 

Scoundrel is afraid of him.

He has always been here,

watching us live through him for him because of him. 

Why now? Who can know. 

Time

 heals all wounds as does severe desire and the grace of God. 

I guess if there is a lesson, never count yourself out, never give up and never not say never. 

Perspective.

By Cary Hall

Life. It is what is. I don't have many bad days where effort is required to get back on my spiritual path. Everyone is due a few now and again My experience has been that what it is now won't be later when it's now again. 

Just When I Thought I Was Done

By Cary Hall

I want to slow dance with you. Hold you close. 

Stare into your eyes, smile at your smile. 

Whisper in your ear.

 Smell your neck. 

Nibble on you as we dance together as one while the rest of the world disappears out of our view all the while melting together,  knowing what might come we will thrive together in respect in admiration. 

For the sake of sex there go I.

By Scary Halloween

Not true. Not for me. 

For love there go I. 

Sex without intimacy, without love is hollow. 

Anyone can fuck. But to find healthy enduring honest open hearted love takes effort. 

Self awareness and patience doesn't come easy like an animal does. 

Don't get me wrong, I like sex. Playful, torrid, passionate, kinky or slow sex with a lot of kissing and caressing. 

But to what end, to what means? 

That is the question of all actions in life. Only you have the right answer. 

Life is a series of choices of doing and having with results undetermined.

If we are not here for love then why are we here. To buy shit? To be gluttonous, pretentious, selfish power hungry asses? 

I guess the answer is your choice. I've made many choices. What I have learned, is that your truth is real. For me, love is truth. 

For love there go I.

Grave Mistakes We Follow To The End

By Pretty Alice

Flight or fight is residue of our lizard brain. It is physical preservation only. 

So many have died for causes that have gone unknown. Sacrifices that have fallen in the dust of time.  

Some of those were to survive, some to push humanity forward. 

People move through life with their heads down fumbling blindly  forward. 

The nature of a net.

 An illusion of freedom. In the end they wasted their time in future thinking, past recriminations.

In fear, 

missing the now, the greater good for themselves for others. 

It happens all the time all by choice.

Life can be fragile and futile.

I don't force my will against my fate. I know life for me will be what it will be. My relationship with God is all there is. 

And for that I am blessed, rich and forgiving. 

Am I an old soul or a repeat offender?

By Scary Halloween

I have died so many times yet here I am. 

Why? Why is that? When so many do all the time, yet I remain, physically unscathed. 

I linger in mental emotional  red rover. Maybe it is best to die. I can't say. It's not.  

I don't think I have a purpose that is clear or one that is main stream. If it was left to me, society would still be eating carrion in a cave. 

 I think it is just the way the universe works. No rhyme or reason. Just luck or not of the draw. 

I wouldn't think about so much if I could settle with who I am versus how I was raised. 

I have never had a singular obsession for things like sports, technology, fashion and all the other bullshit with what people waste their money and time. 

Okay. Not true. I am obsessed with truth, with knowing what is real what is indoctrination. 

Obsessed with being, not out of fear but out of self. 

It feels like a curse although I know it is a blessing, my gift. 

The pay is lousy and the friendships are few and far between. 

But when I review my grateful list, make my positive statements to god and the universe, I am happy. 

Are you?

The Devil In Disguise

By Scary Halloween

By choice I would be free. By innate organic wiring, I cannot. 

Obligated. My word is my word no matter the situation, the people, the consequence. 

I'm in. Pound or penny. 

That is just the way it is.  

My way, my family's way. 

Once again against the precipice. I'm sure I would not stand so close if I didn't love it so.

So I stand. 

The reality is a dream, the fantasy is just that. Between those two I am alive. 

The waiting, the not knowing is the best part. Outcome be what it might.

I look like a cop I think like a criminal. Fine line really. 

Somehow, I work my way in blind and reckless, against their better judgement.

That is what I like best. Being juxtaposed.  An enigma. 

It is the pleasure of the legacy of the curse.