By Scary Halloween
I hate the reality of my acceptance.
Accept or Deny, It is a choice.
Of course I could continue to play with the little endless game of pong in my head.
Bleep. Accept. Bleep.
Deny. Bleep.
You get the image.
Occasionally, I recognize that pride is a dangerous thing,and with that comes ignorance, vanity, and a total complete lack of understanding of self and others.
Living healthy spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally requires a daily ever
vigilant focus of internalizing processing and acting.
That is exhausting on the front end,
at first it seems much easier to let chaos take hold, but I find
more difficult on the back end.
Way more difficult.
My problem is that the shitty mundane routine of aspects of life gets in the way of higher pursuits. Even pulling back the shower curtain every morning goes through me like nails on a chalk board. Thank technology for dry erase boards. Kids don't know how good they have it today.
So I let these things of life distract me weaken me into fear and then anger so that pride insidiously leaks out from my dark core and consumes me as a bottomless hole. A dark deep black engulfed fathom that festers to a case of the fuck its, fuck you, fuck me mother fucking fuck.
And that whole hole has to be fed
Thats when I think I need some sparkles, I need bobbles, something shinny to brighten, to bring light to the black, to bring nourishment in the form of self indulgence.
You know the adage ,
You know the adage ,
" Starve the body feed the hole feed the disease."
Only one thing to do, I must go see
doctor Distraction. He lives in
the bottom of a
doctor Distraction. He lives in
the bottom of a
bottle.
And as I stated,
It's Not How I Got Here It's How I Get To There.
1 comment:
Nobody likes the shitty, mundane routine of pulling a shower curtain back every morning, but at the same time, just try and see how long you like going without having done that... Basic gratitude. If you're thankful to have access to a hot shower, then it goes from a mundane activity to a blessing.
On a larger scale, in order to fill that deep, empty, bottomless hole, you must pull from an equally deep and bottomless reservoir. The only one I can think of that is so endless, is love. Love yourself. Allow yourself to give love and receive it. You will go from empty to overflowing.
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