Island Living Because I Am Too Smart for Whores and Too Bored by Debutantes

First,

let me apologize for the trite use of metaphors

you are about to encounter should you choose

to continue reading any further.

Steve McQueen could do it, Paul Newman could do it,

the Count of Monte Cristo survived

but actors playing characters and fictional characters

obviously do not suffer the way we do.

So for us living in a box is torture.

Until recently, I lived in a box

built inside a box

built inside another box

and so the fuck on and on.

Don't get me wrong. I built those fucking boxes,

stepped right into the motherfuckers willingly.

However, the material for those boxes

came from my parents, my genetics, my environment

and whatever else I don't fully understand.

I don't blame anyone for the boxes I built.

But we grow up being given building material

of lies

passed from one generation to the next.

We all do it except the rare few

and

I have not met them, have you?

At this point let me give you

a couple of symptoms of box living.

Do you use the word "me" and "why"

a lot in your thoughts or conversations?

Is your concentration and ability

to balance life, family and work difficult?

Are you depressed often or more?

Are you wishing you were somewhere else

instead of where you are at the time?

Do you feel guilt, shame or regret?

Do you go socially to places and do

activities you don't want to do?

Do you want people to do what

you do and think like you do?

Do you socialize with Trolls?

Do you have lottery fantasies?

Do you gossip?

Do you tell small lies and make excuses

to avoid?

Do you worry about what others will think of you?

Do you participate against your beliefs, wants

and/or needs?

Do you wish your life was different?

Do you want revenge?

Do you suffer from bouts of rage and resentment?

Do you want to blow your brains out?

If so,

you should immediately seek yourself and assess.

So after years of box living,

I became miserable, self centered and fearful.

Naturally like any animal after years of captivity

I began the long pacing circle

of

sex, drugs and alcohol all together in no

certain order.

Just

"more now! faster motherfucker!

The walls did not come down

until

I had destroyed myself.

Much like Pretty's guilt

and the

killing of a Goddess of the Universe

destruction can make opportunity for rebirth.

Transformation is possible if you survive

the destruction.

"I did. And I created an island on which I live.

The suffering, the effort, the struggle is worth the investment

when I find each day I am continually amazed."

John Donne said, "No man is an island."

Now of course he was speaking to the fact

that he was involved in mankind.

How? I am not sure.

This I do know, mankind is people living in boxes.

I am not sure how involved we really are as a species

with one another.

I put my personal freedom before all others.

It is my responsibility to society

to be an individual.

I do not stand alone

but separate

and yet with mankind.

I make my conscious choice

to follow or rebel.

Not out of fear or rage respectively.

I serve not as a machine but as

a living organism in the universe.

My island is not that

of isolation

or

of borders

but of

Directions for Me, Myself and I.

"I heard that. Who mumbled, (The Three Stooges?) Maybe so,

but you and all

are invited to my island,

but remember you are a guest and only visiting."

No Trolls will be allowed on shore.

So I offer this unsolicited suggestion,

step out of your box or boxes,

forget why or how

it was built

and write down the directions to your island.

Pretty Alice says her island is magical.

I hear she refitted E. C. Marm's air-boat.

She says it is loaded with jellybeans

and ready to soar.

So watch out you Tick-Tock Men and Women.

The Harlequin Rides Again!

For Abby and Bo.

Be strong, free and make your own

Conscious Choices

and

you each will have an Island of your own.