My Trouble Through Summers

Hip pouches are not hip, but they are so practical. I live for the winter when the man's coat is his purse.

It's the same thing for me every year. It could be solved if I were metro sexual, Then I would carry a man "satchel".

But I'm not so I won't.

We can call it an accessories pack, a utility belt, we can color them, make them out of hemp, bedazzle them, tell people it was a gift from the President of the United States, but it is what it is. It's not right. It's unnatural. I leave the pouch to the marsupials and of course Batman. 

So in the hot months of summer, my pockets are stuffed like a child from a 50's television show. Yo yo, string, jacks, a rock, a frog and some sandwich pieces.

It's such a shame to not just wear the damn thing. Let's face it, I'm a terrible dresser. What would it matter? How could a fanny pack, hip pouch do any more harm to my "look"? I have no fashion sense at all. Well  except for the terrible self conscientiousness I would feel wearing a fanny pack like some practical tourist from some practical town somewhere in some  practical pocket of the world.

I'm just not that practical. Maybe it is true. People really do suffer for fashion.

And for you, the brave ones, the practical ones, I admire your self actualization. Seriously, I want to be you. But, I can't. I just can't. I've tried. Once I got as far as my front door. But that's it. 

Well, truth be told. I carry a diabetic kit that is canvas. No belt attached. I refer to it as my "external pocket".

And push come to shove I tell people  I'm diabetic. Sometimes I volunteer it announcing it as I point to the bag. 

I wouldn't have to go through this if I had a girlfriend, wife or metro sexual friend, I could dump my stuff in their "satchel" purse slash overnight bag suitcase thing.

Talk about too much luggage to be hanging out with another human being just for the compartment convenience of their accessory just for my stuff. That's excess baggage.

Still, between my phone, phone paraphernalia  and E-cig and E-Cig paraphernalia, I need a fanny, hip wherever I wear it pouch.

What can say, I got stuff

In the end it comes down to choice as does everything. Are you in or are you out? I prefer to wait and let the wheel of fate decide. If I've learned anything, it is that history repeats itself.

If I live long enough , maybe, just maybe the hip pouch

will be hip again, if it ever was.

Nope. It won't happen. 

I am a very positive person who believes hope springs eternal, but I can't even fool myself on this one.