Posted by Scary Halloween
the more free we can become.
Now some interpret free
as a license to go crazy.
Scoundrel Ghost has a
Terminal Illness List
Basically, should he have only a few months
to live, he will seek revenge
on those who he deems deserving
of his wrath. You know,
like the Enron guys.
Pretty Alice died and returned renewed,
a spiritual consciousness vibrating on a quantum reality.
When I say closer to death,
I mean as one gets closer to old age.
As we get past that midway point
of our life expectancy,
some of us
begin to reflect on how we have lived,
are living
and ask the question(s):
"is this all there is?"
"how did I get here?"
"will I ever ?"
"how much time remains?"
"why didn't I ?".
Now there are those through
ignorance or self actualization
have no concern,
that they need to scramble.
I personally have scrambled
and altered what could have been my dismal fate.
It wasn't easy at first
and required cognitive effort
of breaking
habits of thought,
removing ingrained expectations,
changing self imposed priorities,
and developing balance each day
of emotions, spirituality and physical and mental health..
My goal is on my death bed
or
at my time of conscious transition
that
I will not take inventory of accumulation of material
but
that of the spiritual tranquility.
That to thy own self through god
I was true.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Dear Pretty, Do We Have A Soul And What Happens To It When We Die??
Posted by Pretty Alice
I don't think it's important or necessary to know.
We live in the moment.
Past was but a dream and
the future
created in the present.
God, religion spiritual beliefs and all it's dogma
is only conjecture.
If it is a soul that is in us and if our goal is to nurture it
then that all takes place within us.
It is an internal achievement without the focus being on our physical world.
Now that might sound a little like bullshit or a lot of ignorance is bliss
but it is but only a part of what I believe.
When we try to conceive the unknown in our physical world
and define it,
describe it
or label it,
we are trying to prove it's existence.
That is where faith comes in.
Knowing/experiencing a thing so deeply rooted and connected to our bodies
that we feel it,
draw strength
and inspiration from it,
yet we cannot provide any concrete evidence of the existence of a god, a soul or an afterlife.
I think trying to prove it
or
know it
is distracting a person from practicing their internal connection.
It is a battle of philosophy vs method.
Basically, if you want to get heaven the entrance is in inside you.
In your belief and practice of that faith.
So forget about evidence through scientific method or modern day miracles.
Stop waiting for talking burning bushes. However, if you run across one get some good video.
Basically, if you want to get heaven the entrance is in inside you.
In your belief and practice of that faith.
So forget about evidence through scientific method or modern day miracles.
Stop waiting for talking burning bushes. However, if you run across one get some good video.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Underneath It Remains Life After Birth
Posted By Pretty Alice
As I was drifting, skating the edge of this universe's membrane,
the thought came to me.
We are born as the person we are. It is our core person.
Over time, that core is wrapped behind many
lenses:
the layers and objects of identity and perception
that are removed and placed on us
from the exposure to life after birth.
But underneath, the core self remains., frozen, waiting.
Can the lenses, the fog be removed?
Can you return?
Can you peel off the familiar and all too comfortable
skin?
I was lucky, my guilt transformed me.
What will transform you?
As I was drifting, skating the edge of this universe's membrane,
the thought came to me.
We are born as the person we are. It is our core person.
Over time, that core is wrapped behind many
lenses:
the layers and objects of identity and perception
that are removed and placed on us
from the exposure to life after birth.
But underneath, the core self remains., frozen, waiting.
Can the lenses, the fog be removed?
Can you return?
Can you peel off the familiar and all too comfortable
skin?
I was lucky, my guilt transformed me.
What will transform you?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Ambassador Of Good Will
Posted by Scoundrel Ghost
If you work in the service industry
or
have ever worked dealing with the public,
face to face.
then you have probably felt or still feel
that humanity
is full of assholes.
We are not assholes all the time.
Some are more than others;
few are assholes 24/7. They do have to sleep.
Sometimes we are intentional assholes,
sometimes unintentional.
Now I have worked with people who stop by
to donate their treasures for which they
no longer have room to contain.
Maybe
they just need to make more room
for newer crap.
Mine is not to question.
Some of it can be useful to others; clothes, utensils, cookware, etc.
But most of it is crap. Crap that collects dust, crap to dust around
and crap to sit next to crap, crap to accessorize other crap,
crap that was given, crap that was received
and crap that just had to be had due to the
manufactured consent
of the marketeers.
We ARE a nation of crap mongers.
Our whole economy is based on
producing, marketing and buying crap.
Its one big crap swap.
I think I have strayed from my point if I did actually have one when I started.
Oh yes. Assholes.
Now this new job is a very good experience for me.
It gives me a chance to work on many areas of my life that require humility
and to let go. To stop being a control freak.
I have such difficulty dealing with the
rudeness, the arrogance and the plain stupidity of others.
So as I practice, I serve the public
as the arbiter of the unwanted back to the wanted.
One man's crap is another man's crap. That's not how it goes but that's how it is.
Im a minimalist. This was not always the case.
It's ironic or devine intervention that a minimalist
would end up working everyday in the recycling of junk to treasure business.
I'm grateful that it reminds me of my choice to reduce the weight of objects in my life.
I'm grateful that I can practice humility when:
a donor has to hold their piece of crap so gingerly in their hands and tell me how valuable and useful this piece of crap is to someone else.
(i'm thinking if its so great why dont they just keep it or hey if they are giving it away then just let go. Just shut the fuck up and let me toss into a bin full of more crap just like it. There is a line of assholes right behind you mister and the crap is piling up. So let me be on my way as should you.)
Or,
A donor tells me how the pieces fit together and how they cant be separated.
( I'm thinking, do you not see these bins piled full of junk, do you not see how everything is just dumped in these bins, do you think that this plastic piece of junk is so great that I should ignore the line of cars piling up, one by one, just so I can secure your child's filthy, sticky soon to be former toy in a special place so that when it is shipped to the store to be resold it will arrive with a fanfare?
Ta fucking Dah!)
Or,
A donor says maybe you should......
( Now when they start their sentence like that they are really being an asshole. That is always a sentence that comes from a woman, stating the obvious or with a suggestion of how to take care of those shoes, that lamp or the box in her car. Its hot, I'm tired, sweaty and hungry and I really don't need someone telling me how to do something that would be totally against what I was trained and am required to do in this job. That's not how its done. Let it go. You donated it. It's not yours to cherish, polish, dust, hold, view, wear, worship or whatever anymore.)
Or,
a donnor drives up talking on the phone and just sits there. I come up to the window, they dont roll it down, but they stick up a finger to say in such a kind gesture, "One moment please, can't you see I'm on the phone." Oh what an asshole. We have to stand around and wait until she is done. Yes let's just fall behind in our work so she can finish buying more crap or whatever she is doing on her cell phone.
There are plenty more ors where I am coming from.
And truly, I am no different from anyone else.
I am guilty of ignorance or over helpfulness or rudeness to my fellow earthlings.
And I understand that most of the time our being an asshole is due to the fact
that we are so bogged down surviving the struggle of the
American Dream, succumbing to our fears and insecurities
that we forget to relax, to be focused and to care for others.
I get that.
So each day I get a chance to see what others feel like
when I AM being
an asshole.
If you work in the service industry
or
have ever worked dealing with the public,
face to face.
then you have probably felt or still feel
that humanity
is full of assholes.
We are not assholes all the time.
Some are more than others;
few are assholes 24/7. They do have to sleep.
Sometimes we are intentional assholes,
sometimes unintentional.
Now I have worked with people who stop by
to donate their treasures for which they
no longer have room to contain.
Maybe
they just need to make more room
for newer crap.
Mine is not to question.
Some of it can be useful to others; clothes, utensils, cookware, etc.
But most of it is crap. Crap that collects dust, crap to dust around
and crap to sit next to crap, crap to accessorize other crap,
crap that was given, crap that was received
and crap that just had to be had due to the
manufactured consent
of the marketeers.
We ARE a nation of crap mongers.
Our whole economy is based on
producing, marketing and buying crap.
Its one big crap swap.
I think I have strayed from my point if I did actually have one when I started.
Oh yes. Assholes.
Now this new job is a very good experience for me.
It gives me a chance to work on many areas of my life that require humility
and to let go. To stop being a control freak.
I have such difficulty dealing with the
rudeness, the arrogance and the plain stupidity of others.
So as I practice, I serve the public
as the arbiter of the unwanted back to the wanted.
One man's crap is another man's crap. That's not how it goes but that's how it is.
Im a minimalist. This was not always the case.
It's ironic or devine intervention that a minimalist
would end up working everyday in the recycling of junk to treasure business.
I'm grateful that it reminds me of my choice to reduce the weight of objects in my life.
I'm grateful that I can practice humility when:
a donor has to hold their piece of crap so gingerly in their hands and tell me how valuable and useful this piece of crap is to someone else.
(i'm thinking if its so great why dont they just keep it or hey if they are giving it away then just let go. Just shut the fuck up and let me toss into a bin full of more crap just like it. There is a line of assholes right behind you mister and the crap is piling up. So let me be on my way as should you.)
Or,
A donor tells me how the pieces fit together and how they cant be separated.
( I'm thinking, do you not see these bins piled full of junk, do you not see how everything is just dumped in these bins, do you think that this plastic piece of junk is so great that I should ignore the line of cars piling up, one by one, just so I can secure your child's filthy, sticky soon to be former toy in a special place so that when it is shipped to the store to be resold it will arrive with a fanfare?
Ta fucking Dah!)
Or,
A donor says maybe you should......
( Now when they start their sentence like that they are really being an asshole. That is always a sentence that comes from a woman, stating the obvious or with a suggestion of how to take care of those shoes, that lamp or the box in her car. Its hot, I'm tired, sweaty and hungry and I really don't need someone telling me how to do something that would be totally against what I was trained and am required to do in this job. That's not how its done. Let it go. You donated it. It's not yours to cherish, polish, dust, hold, view, wear, worship or whatever anymore.)
Or,
a donnor drives up talking on the phone and just sits there. I come up to the window, they dont roll it down, but they stick up a finger to say in such a kind gesture, "One moment please, can't you see I'm on the phone." Oh what an asshole. We have to stand around and wait until she is done. Yes let's just fall behind in our work so she can finish buying more crap or whatever she is doing on her cell phone.
There are plenty more ors where I am coming from.
And truly, I am no different from anyone else.
I am guilty of ignorance or over helpfulness or rudeness to my fellow earthlings.
And I understand that most of the time our being an asshole is due to the fact
that we are so bogged down surviving the struggle of the
American Dream, succumbing to our fears and insecurities
that we forget to relax, to be focused and to care for others.
I get that.
So each day I get a chance to see what others feel like
when I AM being
an asshole.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The Fractal Universe
Posted by Pretty Alice
I like that anyone who as smoked weed
has thought of the concept
that there is a whole universe
on such a microscopic scale
that it is invisible to our eyes.
That makes me smile.
Possibly the birth of Dr. Seuss's,
"Horton Hears A who".
That makes me smile.
When one thinks of repeating cycles
in our own bodies,
of nature on Earth,
our galaxy,
our universe,
is it so improbable
that from the infinitesimal to the infinite
that we lie somewhere in between?
That really makes me smile.
I like that anyone who as smoked weed
has thought of the concept
that there is a whole universe
on such a microscopic scale
that it is invisible to our eyes.
That makes me smile.
Possibly the birth of Dr. Seuss's,
"Horton Hears A who".
That makes me smile.
When one thinks of repeating cycles
in our own bodies,
of nature on Earth,
our galaxy,
our universe,
is it so improbable
that from the infinitesimal to the infinite
that we lie somewhere in between?
That really makes me smile.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Whatever Happened To Natural Selection?
Posted by Scoundrel Ghost
Going through life not knowing what you are doing can be troublesome.
Of course,
sometimes you just get lucky.
Going through life not knowing what you are doing can be troublesome.
Of course,
sometimes you just get lucky.
Quantum Leap of Thought
By Scary Halloween
In my youth I use to subscribe to the idea
Dont Know, Dont Care.
Not to be confused with the concept that ignorance is bliss.
Meaning the idea that what you don't know won't hurt you or
what you are unaware of you will not miss.
So if you don't know how to do your taxes it won't hurt you as long as there are
accountants and you can afford their services, unless you don't need to do your
taxes or refuse to do so. Of course refusing to do so will hurt you
unless you like prison or life evading the law.
Fire on the other hand is hot and without that knowledge you will get burned
unless you never encounter fire.
Or, if you have never eaten at 5 star restaurant, visited a tropical island
you will not miss.
Don't Know, Don't Care is really about lazy indifference.
Know, Don't Care is more about indifference.
Don't Know, Care is about uninformed opinion.
What I do know is that
So with that, I now subscribe to
Choose To Know What I Can Know, Choose To Care or Care Not
In my youth I use to subscribe to the idea
Dont Know, Dont Care.
Not to be confused with the concept that ignorance is bliss.
Meaning the idea that what you don't know won't hurt you or
what you are unaware of you will not miss.
So if you don't know how to do your taxes it won't hurt you as long as there are
accountants and you can afford their services, unless you don't need to do your
taxes or refuse to do so. Of course refusing to do so will hurt you
unless you like prison or life evading the law.
Fire on the other hand is hot and without that knowledge you will get burned
unless you never encounter fire.
Or, if you have never eaten at 5 star restaurant, visited a tropical island
you will not miss.
Don't Know, Don't Care is really about lazy indifference.
Know, Don't Care is more about indifference.
Don't Know, Care is about uninformed opinion.
What I do know is that
life consists of predictability of events,
non predictability of events,
predictability of random events
and
non predictability of random events.
So with that, I now subscribe to
Choose To Know What I Can Know, Choose To Care or Care Not
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Food For Thought
By Scoundrel Ghost
I'm trying to save the world one or two cheese burgers at a time.
However, I must keep in mind, Rome didn't fall in a day.
I'm trying to save the world one or two cheese burgers at a time.
However, I must keep in mind, Rome didn't fall in a day.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Illusion Confusion Delusion Solution
BY Scary Halloween
It is late.
I stand in the suburbs amongst
the sleeping in their houses, the big yards,
elaborate swingsets and screened porches.
I am an alien here.
A song by Bob Dylan runs through my head,
I refuse to lie to myself, to you and others.
For me it is not how to get out or how to get in.
I can't know what I know, even if I look the part,
I can't stomach it. I must remain.
There is no place for me but on my island. What have I
ever known except what I know now?
No mystery to the meaning of life. Love and be loved.
That is all anything is worth.
Everything else is an illusion. All of man and God's creation
is meaningless, empty and hollow without selfless love.
How much can one change if they even realize they need to?
Eventually you top out or bottom out. You go as far as
any individual can go. And then you are finished. You are done. All that remains
is memory in someone's head.
This thought came to me over dinner and conversation
with a man that I cannot even begin to compare.
Honest, kind, loving, tireless, strong.
Because of him and others I would have slipped away due to
mere indifference or out of pure boredom.
But their love for me has given me the gift of being able to love.
It is late.
I stand in the suburbs amongst
the sleeping in their houses, the big yards,
elaborate swingsets and screened porches.
I am an alien here.
A song by Bob Dylan runs through my head,
I refuse to lie to myself, to you and others.
For me it is not how to get out or how to get in.
I can't know what I know, even if I look the part,
I can't stomach it. I must remain.
There is no place for me but on my island. What have I
ever known except what I know now?
No mystery to the meaning of life. Love and be loved.
That is all anything is worth.
Everything else is an illusion. All of man and God's creation
is meaningless, empty and hollow without selfless love.
How much can one change if they even realize they need to?
Eventually you top out or bottom out. You go as far as
any individual can go. And then you are finished. You are done. All that remains
is memory in someone's head.
This thought came to me over dinner and conversation
with a man that I cannot even begin to compare.
Honest, kind, loving, tireless, strong.
Because of him and others I would have slipped away due to
mere indifference or out of pure boredom.
But their love for me has given me the gift of being able to love.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
In The Swirling Cosmos
By Scary Halloween
Precision and Chaos
Yin and Yang
Healthy and Unhealthy
Hot and Cold
Evil and Good
Life and Death
Truth and Deceit
Is and Is Not
however you want to name it,
identify it,
exist as one thing
each is its fuel and exhaust.
My actions, my thoughts, my words,
even my posture and facial expressions
as mush as I don't want it
to be so, as much as I don't want
to be burdened by this,
possesses the power of both,
the power of dichotomy.
As we live we are dying
as I accept you I deny another/myself
as I deny you I accept another/myself.
It is the decisions we don't want
to make
that are the decisions
to make.
Yet, actions without decisions
although with potential for volatility
can be a solution. Volatility in of itself
can be a solution. But what remains?
And as I burn and exhaust
feed and eliminate my actions
this spiral of energy spreads out
swirling, combining and spiraling again
and against and within
all other living things.
There is no one path out
and no one path in.
Knowing this,
staying connected to this
listening, seeing, touching, hearing, smelling,
sensing this is
balance of human life.
Conscious of existence
choosing, deciding, accepting
is crucial everyday
every minute of that day.
Interaction and change is inevitable
but not always expected or understood
but that is where always the
struggle for balance performs.
Sharon. Thanks for the title change.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The bomb the flood and the boy.
By Pretty Alice
It goes off in the chest no relief still
remaining. It is the feel of grip around
his heart. he stumbles
and trips from the start.
They will tell him the truth.
we have tried all of us. Here inside.
"you must return to the booth."
"you again must hide."
From the carnival barker
(with the quips from the words, the blades using
the power of the past to destroys lives)
so from outside he enters
with the barker's nod.
Protected. In the retro golden booth.
You know to face the velvet curtains because you
are odd.
So odd.
Why so odd? Why do
what you have done time and again?
He goes from his bed.
then his chair.
then to the place he fuels his head.
It is the mind the place from within.
He hears,
"Such a repetitive boy tinkering around with a dangerous toy."
Rushing, rolling, rising and exploding the voice speaks to him.
I will drown them all they will choke
and gasp to breathe no more.
so then I can open, so that I may be free
once more
outside the golden door.
Friday, April 2, 2010
I'm Glad Christ Wasn't Treated Fairly
By Scary Halloween
the elementary school's annual Easter Egg Hunt.
Sadly each child was to hunt for only 14 eggs. Once they found 14 they were
instructed to stop so that each student would have 14 eggs.
This is so unfair. Now I don't usually subscribe to fair and unfair.
Life is for each person what it is. Some are
stronger, faster, smarter, and better looking than others.
It is the circumstance of genetics.
As humans we are responsible to develop or waste what we are given.
However, when our society starts attempting to make everything equal and fair,
then it is unfair to go against the natural order of birth and the individual.
It robs from our birth right the journey to discover our individual gifts,
our strengths and our weaknesses and place in this world.
Can you imagine what it was like for the students that have a better
visual acuity, are faster and more clever with the the context clues as
to the whereabouts of hidden eggs,
to wait around for the other kids to find their fourteen eggs?
How exciting it must of been for the more competitive children to
hurry up get their 14 eggs and then do nothing.
It must of been so great for the kids less skilled to be the last
still searching for the less obviously hidden eggs.
Why didn't the school just hand out the eggs?
It would not have been any more futile.
"Here kid, takes theses eggs and go home."
Kurt Vonnegut published his short story
"Harrison Bergeron", in 1961.
48 years later this tale of a society is coming true.
Soon we will live in Vonnegut's absurd world
where the strong are artificially weakened by sandbags to
exhibit equal strength to all,
the attractive are prosthetically altered to look plain like everyone,
and the intelligent hear a horrible noise every few minutes to disrupt
their thoughts so that they have the same IQ as everyone.
We wonder why is society slipping. How did entitlement
lead to this? Everyone gets the same? No suffering? No challenge?
No choice to work or quit to succeed or fail?
Giving people something for nothing
couldn't possibly take away their motivation and most importantly
their dignity.
If you think that socialism works you are a person
who lives in fear or anger, afraid and angry, going about life
wanting and jealous of those who have what you wouldn't earn.
Or
You "pity" those who don't have what you have
or you chose socialist beliefs due to guilt for having
more than others.
Regardless, I don't want any help.
Just love, encouragement and healthy guidance.
Let me find my way to natural ability,
earned self improvement. It is most human of us
to struggle and develop with independence
regardless of success or failure.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Banana Slip or Freudian Split?
By Scoundrel Ghost
Nothing really other than its definition
if used correctly.
However the simple word can have a powerful impact,
a common everyday word can heal or destroy.
Its all in the context, the situation and how the word is spoken.
For example, the misplaced word.
Mom for Wife.
Dad for Husband.
or Bob for Bill/ Jane for Mary
(YIKES)
or even Bob for Mary and Jane for Bill.
(DOUBLE YIKES)
Take that now place in a less common
setting, not driving in the car having a friendly discussion,
or sitting with your therapist pouring out your heart;
but in the bed, in the throws of ecstasy,
the brink of climax, disaster strikes,
she says, "Oh Jim!".
And you are not Jim you are Spock.
(TRIPLE YIKES)
It can happen and it can be a simple slip
that leads to a split
regardless of the fact
that is just one simple spoken word
in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Prince by Giacomo Puccini
| Posted by Scary Halloween | |
| Nessun dorma, nessun dorma ... Tu pure, o Principessa, Nella tua fredda stanza, Guardi le stelle Che tremano d'amore E di speranza. | No one sleeps, no one sleeps... Even you, o Princess, In your cold room, Watch the stars, That tremble with love And with hope. |
| Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me, Il nome mio nessun saprà, no, no, Sulla tua bocca lo dirò Quando la luce splenderà, Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio Che ti fa mia. | But my secret is hidden within me; My name no one shall know, no, no, On your mouth I will speak it* When the light shines, And my kiss will dissolve the silence That makes you mine. |
| Il nome suo nessun saprà E noi dovrem, ahimè, morir. | No one will know his name And we must, alas, die. |
| Dilegua, o notte! Tramontate, stelle! All'alba vincerò! | Vanish, o night! Set**, stars! At daybreak, I shall conquer! |
Friday, October 9, 2009
WARNING BEWARE: Normal is a relative term.
By Scary Halloween
I spoke to a friend tonight.
She reminded me of a kind act
I had shown her years ago.
I had totally forgotten.
In my new awakening, my reintroduction
to people of my past
I am hearing several stories
similar to hers.
Conversely, tonight I heard
an honest assessment of a
" first impression"
that I displayed.
I had to laugh in total agreement.
I do not blame this person
for their judgement. They are not alone.
Twice in this week I have been told
what I know all too well about myself,
I like to stir the pot.
"if I don't, the beans will burn."
And I don't mince words, however
I agree that it is less shocking when words are
delivered from the heart with kindness,
love and understanding.
There is a musical artist that speaks of
understanding.
( I deliberately don't mention the artist
for he is subject to judgement and his words
you might not hear) This is a diversion form the theme of this Blog.
Honesty and challenged perception.
But the point I want to make
is important enough for me
to make this exception to my rule.
By the way not a big fan of rules.
Basically, he says I'm not you
and you are not me. That is a good thing.
But, when you or I get off
on getting on another person, well
that is judgement.
I don't believe in sin
but judgement is a human character flaw
that we all have. It stems from the basis of fear.
A form of prejudice.
Judgement is a way to rationalize our on behavior,
our on way of living/existence.
However, through our level of ability
to
understand ourselves, to know ourself
that
we can have compassion,
understanding and
rethink our gut reaction
and evaluate our feelings/opinnions about others.
Those who do not know themselves, or
have lived only one way of life
lack frame of reference for compassion
and understanding of those who are "different".
I'm not speaking of pitty because pity is judgement.
For the grace of god there go I.
In my path of spirituality,
I know who I am. I except the things
that make me whole. In this journey
I am working hard to erase judgement.
An impossible task? Maybe, but
I will certainly never obtain it if I
do not attempt it.
I have an advantage over others and
that is I have lived in varied social, economic
and political groups. I have blended in
very well despite my outer appearance.
I have found acceptance in those groups.
But only by mimicking them, not by being who I am.
So who was really more accepting in that circumstance?
My point is simply this. What I am
is not what I will always be.
I am not one thing. I am a dichotomy.
So to know me is your interpretation.
I am grateful for you and what you can
teach me about you and myself.
We all have greatness, and gifts to share.
And I give the benefit of doubt to all
because I am a person who challenges
myself to grow and change, to being open,
willing and honest.
Hey! I have had
some stumbles, and major falls
and my share of road blocks to self actualization.
But I haven't given in and whether I get there
or not, it is the journey, the point on the horizon
I focus on that brings new growth new understanding
a new Scary Halloween each day.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I HAVE NEVER
By Scary Halloween
I find myself repeating the words,
I Have Never.......
A friend asked me, "You have never what?"
I replied, "Yes, exactly".
I am having never and I hope to stay here.
See, I don't ever want to have had never.
I feel as if I am floating in a clear blue ocean
on a warm, breezy day waiting for her
to swim out to me.
Is this nirvana? Is this truth?
It feels like it.
My frame of reference
would suggest
yes
more than
no.
My self will had kept me from
my journey
which is simply my fate.
Self will is aggressive, selfish and
blinded by fear.
But all that I have been
in life up to this moment
has lead me here,
preparing me to be.
It is a lasting, sustaining euphoria
for me to remain
moving toward
an ever changing horizon of
each moment in time as it occurs.
There are no
coincidences.
It is a divine arrangement
that the universe performs
and I am grateful
having never. Moving
always to
what I never have had or
what i can
have,
be
or
do.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Like This Together by Adrienne Rich
Posted by Pretty Alice
Like This Together
1.
Wind rocks the car.
We sit parked by the river,
silence between our teeth.
Birds scatter across islands
of broken ice. Another time
I'd have said, "Canada geese,"
knowing you love them.
A year, ten years from now
I'll remember this—
this sitting like drugged birds
in a glass case—
not why, only that we
were here like this together.
2.
They're tearing down, tearing up
this city block, block by block
Rooms cut in half
hang like flayed carcasses,
their old roses in rags,
famous streets have forgotten
where they were going. Only
a fact could be so dreamlike.
They're tearing down the houses
we met and lived in,
soon our two bodies will be all
left standing from that era.
3.
We have, as they say,
certain things in common.
I mean: a view
from a bathroom window
over slate to stiff pigeons
huddled every morning; the way
water tastes from our tap,
which you marvel at, letting
it splash into the glass.
Because of you I notice
the taste of water,
a luxury I might
otherwise have missed.
4.
Our words misunderstand us.
Sometimes at night
you are my mother:
old detailed griefs
twitch at my dreams, and I
crawl against you, fighting
for shelter, making you
my cave. Sometimes
you're the wave of birth
that drowns me in my first
nightmare. I suck the air.
Miscarried knowledge twists us
like hot sheets askew.
5.
Dead winter doesn't die,
it wears away, a piece of carrion
picked clean at last,
rained away or burnt dry.
Our desiring does this,
make no mistake, I'm speaking
of fact: through mere indifference
we could prevent it.
Only our fierce attention
gets hyacinths out of those
hard cerebral lumps,
unwraps the wet buds down
the whole length of a stem.
6.
The severed hand still suffers
beyond the stump.
But new life, how do we bare it?
You or huge tree when lightning strikes.
Fresh new flames spurting
through our old sealed skins,
susceptibilities ours, and yet not ours
sucking blind power from our roots.
What is there to do but
hold on to the one thing we know,
grip Earth and let burn.
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